3/5/2020, 0:51

还在走弯路，还在痛苦，还在不知所措，该醒醒了，该想想怎么办了。

我们的目标仍然是实习前上架6款产品

发一篇paper

买车

最大的政治运动，一周内完成一门课

10:30-12 plan

12-8 work，整理etc

2020 Day 1

今晚的我经历情绪上的巨大波动，我的确不管怎么压制我，都很在乎她。我真的很害怕她离开我，后悔了，或者任何事情。到底我为什么会感到很不安？我太在乎还是这份感情太脆弱了，需要我如此卑微？在倒计时的这段时间，我会继续努力，我会争取我喜欢的东西

911倒计时

我的目标，仍然是得到她？倘若明天他没有联系我，我还会再尝试一次，如果联系，再说。失败，我仍然会争取另一个。最多只要13天的时间就好

但我必须把事业放在第一位，把事业放在第一位，把事业放在第一位

我的目标就是这周彻底完成堆积的东西，然后下周开始一周一个app

每天挑战自己，每天早上晚上反思

 

Day28

活在焦虑中，面对着各种压力，想念着童年听着歌曲，真的像那时候看过的一句话，多么希望现在是一场梦，被同桌叫醒拍一下就醒了。

快要30岁的人了可还是一事无成。想要达到的目标一个没有完成。我到底哪里做错了？每天痛苦着，每天醒来的第一件事情就是自杀。被眼前所有的困难压得喘不过气。

想想童年的时候，想想那时候天天打fc游戏。超级玛丽，魂斗罗，双节棍，冒险岛。。。现在的我还是一无所有。听着红白机之歌https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEvP4zpVL5s，眼泪真的忍不住掉下来了。我还有多少时间？我还能不能得到想要的？

被自己的样子困扰，无限自卑的我。想念父母。有时候就想想我到底能贡献给他们什么。想念大学的时候一个人在周末看动画。想念以前的美好瞬间。活着真的很痛苦。

还在想着创业，想着paper，想着女友，但是我到底应该怎么办？我问问吧？

Day 26

Try to take pic

I did not try it. The lesson I learned is that I need to make a plan, a plan that will tell me when to do it. But I did do something today. I bought the plane ticket to LA. Guess that kinda can make it up

Day 24

My task for tomorrow is to buy shoes and clothes. I need to buy these stuff to make me feel  better and look better. I also want to experience the process.

I went shopping with a korean friend. I have not really went clothes shopping in a real shop for a long time. I was kinda nervous at first. But with his help, I bought a lot of clothes and 2 pair of shoes. Feel like I need to do this more often. It was a good experience!

Day 23

Tomorrow I am going to spend the whole day doing 3 crazy things. I want to be like elon mask, to be crazy about myself for one day! First, I am going to finish security.  Then I am going to finish algorithm. Finally, I will finish research. My time will be from 9:30-9:30 at night.

After that, I will spend 10-11 on gym and meditation.

I tried but I did not finish the task. I feel like I was not really focused on studying so much. The efficiency is very low. I think my next step would be set up a time frame so that I can study efficiently.